I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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