i jhust puked up my retainher.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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