its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
