i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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