i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
