Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
