I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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