your room smells of hookers.
And success
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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