do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize