Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
