White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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