I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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