U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
