yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
