I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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