i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just high enough for therapy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
