3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i need some magic done to my vagina
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
