ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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