You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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