found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
