Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
