Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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