I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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