got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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