i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
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he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize