He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it because I queefed?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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