Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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