Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
