we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
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So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Drunk is not a location!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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