she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
