If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Who died my cat blue again?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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