the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
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Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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