so explain again why im purple
no
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
