I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
