I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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