She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
