I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we're making bets on your personal life
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
