he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
