I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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