The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
