I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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