Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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