: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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