Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize