She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
