All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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