I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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