I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
