i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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