Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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