I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
