I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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