Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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