Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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