there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
