I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
