I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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