im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
