He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
