Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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