How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
