Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
