Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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