I understand Curling. That high.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
