i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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