It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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